Six Propositions and a Hotel Room Key
by Windrider1967
Summary: OK ... I blame this on a tumblr post regarding Chris, Princess Leia tweets, and stills of Cher in Scandals. I am so going to hell. Crack, CrissColfer and bar propositions.
1. Chapter 1

**OK I am now officially going to hell, and I don't even believe in hell. I DON'T write CrissColfer and I don't write crack and I most certainly DON'T write anything like this ... but I did. I blame it all on Tumblr and someone pointing out that "Cher" in the bar closely resembles Chris's tweet about looking like Princess Leia and the profile shot is just perfect and then DAMN IT this damn bunny got stuck in my head and wouldn't let go ... It was suggested that Ash go all "Watch the hands bitch ..." but it just didn't play out that way.**

**Don't know whether to say "enjoy" or "Shoot me please" but either way PLEASE tell me what you think.**

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><p>If there was one thing Darren hated more than anything recently it was the fact that his private life had become anything but. He loved the fact that he was living his dreams, still performing at small venues when he could, had signed as a series regular for season three and had movies and Broadway to add to his resume. The fact that everywhere he went, everything he did and every word that came out of his mouth was picked apart still bothered him though. It was the side of success that he really hadn't anticipated, and at this point it was what hurt the most.<p>

When he had first started Glee the obvious question, at least to every interviewer, had been about his sexuality. Everyone wanted a label put on his feelings and his identification and Darren hated labels. The world wanted things laid out in neat little boxes though. Yeah Darren had messed around a bit in college, mainly while drunk, with some of his male friends but he had only ever really had feelings for women. He would never have discounted the possibility, because if there was one thing he believed, deeper than anything, was that you love people not genders. You may be more attracted to one than the other on a regular basis, but if the person that caught your heart happened to have the same genitals that was just the way things were. Still, pressed for an answer, and unsure how to really explain, his reply had been "I have always identified myself as straight" Now that statement could come back to bite him in the ass.

He never planned on falling for Chris. When he first started the two of them became instant friends. They bonded over Harry Potter, he STILL couldn't believe that Chris was a Starkid from way back, and they just meshed. Away from his friends and family in LA Chris was someone that he could spend time with and just be himself. He couldn't even really pin down the moment when curling up on Chris's couch to watch Disney movies went from the close comfort of friends to something more, but it had. Hugs became more intimate, nights spent together frequently ended up curled up together in the morning but by the end of the tour they had long passed the friendship line into relationship.

They had to keep it under wraps though. Glee had enough controversy around the "gay" storyline without adding the "Previously straight actor now dating his male costar" into everything. The fans out there might ship CrissColfer, but the possible ramifications, particularly on Chris were just more than he could take the chance on. Hopefully one day they would be able to go to the Emmy's together as obvious dates, but right now that just wasn't possible.

The only people that really knew were their friends on set and close friends and family, the people who they knew had their best interests in mind and wouldn't do anything to hurt them. Mark and Ashley nearly spilled it and fueled too much speculation at the Livestream before the 3D premier when Mark made a comment about he and Chris getting married and Chris's name being ChrisCriss. For a split second her froze, fingers on the ring Chris had given him and then he pulled out a smirk and a wink and said "Never say never guys". Ashley picked up on his discomfort and made a joke about him moving on HER man and the awkwardness dissipated, but it was still a little close for comfort.

The thing that was the hardest was the fact that they couldn't be seen in public together, even at network events or awards parties they had to keep their distance. To Darren it almost felt like it was too obvious that they never did photo shoots together, sat near each other at Q&As or even interacted in public. The problem wasn't the perception of a relationship, it was the fact that he and Chris couldn't keep their eyes off each other. When they talked, Darren's always drifted to Chris's mouth and Chris couldn't keep his eyes off of Darren's hazel ones. So they were stuck with spending evenings in at Chris's house, where Darren practically lived now, or occasionally going out with a group of their castmates, always careful to keep their distance.

When Friday had rolled around Darren was actually looking forward to the evening. The cast had planned to head out for dinner and then hit a few clubs downtown to celebrate the wrap of episode three. The tension of trying to keep things low key between he and Chris obviously was awkward, but at least they got to interact in a public place for once. They had it worked out to a science, Chris would dance with Ash and maybe Mark and Harry while Darren danced with the girls, and if they ended up dancing a song or two together in the mix up no one was the wiser. The fact that he needed the night out made it so much worse when Chris told him that he had to head back to Clovis for the weekend.

Ashley and Mark had convinced him that the change in plans shouldn't be allowed to ruin his weekend so he reluctantly followed along to the restaurant and then to their favorite club. He was on his third tequila shot when the bartender set another in front of him and told him it was from the young lady at the end of the bar. Looking down in the dim lighting to where the bartender had pointed Darren saw a beautiful woman raise a glass in a silent toast. If he wasn't absolutely and madly in love with Chris Darren had to admit he would have been tempted. Wavy strawberry blond hair fell over the woman's shoulders, just grazing the top of her breasts in a leather bustier and her leather miniskirt showed off long, strong legs finished with knee high black flat boots. She really was absolutely gorgeous.

Darren turned to the bartender and indicated his thanks before he got up to return to where Mark and Ashley were dancing on the floor. He asked him to return the favor and let her know that he was flattered but unfortunately taken. When he got over to Mark and Ashley he was chuckling quietly as he told them about the encounter. He didn't think another thing about it until Ashley tapped him on the shoulder and said "Don't turn around, but I think she didn't quite get the taken in taken" Darren froze as he felt a hand on his waist and a body press close to his back, swaying in time with the music.

Darren took a deep breath and steeled his nerves before turning around, intending to make it clear that as sweet and as flattering as the offer was, he wasn't interested. He almost felt his heart skip a beat or two when he found himself looking into a familiar pair of eyes looking into his. "Hey sexy" he heard whispered "what is a hot piece of ass like you doing all alone in a place like this?" Darren let out the breath he didn't even realize he was holding with a strangled "Chris?"

Chris stepped back from him and twirled in place, arms out to his sides before reaching for Darren's hands "You like it baby?" he asked nervously.

"Oh my holy wizard god" Darren breathed as he reached a hand up to brush over Chris's cheekbone "Holy SHIT you look absolutely amazing. What are you doing though baby, I mean … WOW … is it wrong that I am so damn turned on right now?"

Chris stepped in and wrapped his arms around Darren, whispering in his ear "Depends on why D. If you're turned on because I look better in drag than I do naked in my bed, then absolutely. If you are turned on because there is a hot woman standing in front of you that you can touch and tease and dance with and kiss in public, then that is the response I was hoping for. I am tired of having to play it safe dear, I want to be able to touch you in public, to go out together and just enjoy. I hope you don't mind."

Darren leaned in, capturing Chris's lips in a deep kiss as Ashley and the rest of the cast looked on with smiles. "Chris, if it means I get to do this, you can wear a monkey costume and I wouldn't care. Honestly though, you look amazing. How many propositions did you get before you sent me that drink? And I take it that everyone was in on this?"

Chris chuckled against Darren's temple "Well Ash helped me with shopping and Heather with the hair. Mark gave me the final "puckilla" approval and for the record it was 6 propositions and one hotel key."

Darren laughed as he pulled Chris to him for a slow dance, bodies pressed tightly together. "I never figured that I would be saying that my boyfriend was the hottest chick in the club when I left the house tonight. I love you Chris"

"I love you too D, but the name's Christine" He replied with a laugh.

As the fan sites and gossip blogs mounted speculation over Darren's new "lady love" over the next few months all he and Chris could do was laugh.


	2. What the actual Frick Darren

**OK so I didn't immediately get hit with hellfire and brimstones and you all reacted so perfectly that I decided to let the bunnies run. I think this little thing will probably expand to connected oneshots and prompt fills. I am honestly floored with the reviews and PMs I have gotten and I hope you all continue to enjoy.**

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><p>Darren had thought that getting the "You hurt my daughtersister/friend speeches" when he was in high school and college had been bad. He even had thought that Ashley pinning him against a wall and giving him the Zizes treatment over Chris had been the worst thing that could happen. He had no idea.

It started out innocently enough. It was nice that occasionally he and Chris could go out, Chris in a fabulous outfit the girls had helped pick out, makeup perfected to subtly alter his facial structure and just flirt and touch with no one the wiser. They were always extremely careful, Chris dressing with one of the girls and then meeting at a neutral location before heading out to dinner or the clubs. They either went back to Darren's afterward or met back at Chris's after he changed. Then things started to unravel.

It began one Saturday night when, slightly tipsy, they left the club and took a taxi back to Darren's place. Joey was supposed to be out of town for the weekend so they should have had the place to themselves. They walked in the living room, Chris swinging his spiked heels from one hand, the other tangled in Darren's hair to find Joey sitting on the couch, looking up at them in shock.

"What the actual FUCK D?" Joey hissed as he pulled Darren into the kitchen, leaving "Christine" standing in the living room. "This is NOT cool dude. I mean just when I thought you had FINALLY gotten yourself sorted out and you and Chris finally stopped dancing around each other you walk in here, obviously drunk with a GIRL?"

"Joey, calm down man, please. It seriously isn't what it looks like." Darren said

"Well then I think you had better fucking explain it dude, cause it looks like you are playing both sides of the fence at the same time here. It looks like you are fucking over the one person who damn well has loved you for YOU and not for "Darren Criss – Starkid, Glee star, fucking Mr Famous musician"

"Babe" Darren called out into the living room "Can you come in here a minute? I think we owe Joey an explanation here and I could really use some help before I end up with a black eye or a bloody nose"

Chris strutted into the kitchen with a smirk on his face, every hair in the perfectly styled wig still in place, swaying his hips to a tune only he could hear. Reaching Darren he placed both hands on his cheeks and leaned in, tongue swiping over Darren's lower lip before crashing their mouths together. Darren pulled back as he heard Joey cursing again. "I asked for help babe, not another knot in the rope that Joey is going to lynch me with"

"Oh come on Dare, can't a girl have a little fun?" Chris whispered, giggling in Darren's ear.

"Dude" Joey yelled "I don't want to get your new lady friend caught up in this, but SERIOUSLY. Do you expect me to stand here and watch this shit and not say anything? Sweetie, I know we haven't been introduced and I really don't want to be rude and you are very attractive so I can understand Darren's interest but I hate to be the one to tell you that this just isn't right. I mean I know that it isn't public knowledge and there is no way for you to know if Darren hasn't told you but he is actually seeing someone. I don't want anyone to end up hurt here and I know ..."

Chris stopped Joey in his ramblings, stepping away from Darren and holding a perfectly manicured hand out towards Joey "You must be Joey. Darren has told me so much about you. And yes I know all about Darren's situation and believe me when I say that I am the last person who wanted to interfere with his relationship."

"OK I am totally confused here" Joey said with a sigh "You don't want to interfere, but here you are in his house, all up on him and GOD DARREN what the hell is going on here?"

"I am so sorry Joey" Chris said quietly "I've been rude. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Christine and what is going on here is that I wanted to take my boyfriend out on the town tonight" he continued as he reached up and slid the wig from his head.

Joey literally backed into the wall behind him as he sputtered incoherently "What the … Shit … Wow … " before finally settling on "Damn man you look hot"


End file.
